'LIFE'
I've been thinking alot lately about my life and my family, wondering about things I could have changed. Alot has went on over the past year...Micah getting a great job, my family moving to Mississippi, my relationship with God and our son turning 10 going into the 5th grade....All these things have had a big impact on my life, having to adjust to changing!!!
(Romans 8:28...We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose)
Me and Micah has come a long way over the yrs, can't believe we've been together 10 yrs come Sept 12. Our love grows more with each passing day!
He is my soul mate in every way, the love we share is something that seems only in fairy-tales, But this fairy-tale has its ups and downs more than one should ;) Aside of our love for each other, we have a precious love for our son Caleb. He's been a blessing not only to us but to mine and Micahs family as well.
Watching him grow through the 10 yrs has been quit a ride, wanting him to grow up then again not to!
We've struggled over the yrs trying to get married and start a new life of our own, but when it seemed that we just maybe touched the top sure enough life grabbed us back down and said, "Your just gonna have to wait"!!
I know people look at us and talk, we're not stupid, but the way I've looked at it is God sees and knows the struggles we've had, having to do things on our own, He knows I've prayed, so I've completely left it in God's hands and I know He's gonna make a way!! I'm only getting married once, and it will be the way we want it, 'BEAUTIFUL'...We've had 10 wonderful yrs and we will have 10 more yrs to come:)
Finally a breakthrough.....
Micah started this new job in Oct of 2010 which was a very big blessing, really couldn't ask for better. We've bought 2 new cars and sticking back to finally get married. But he's having to stay away from home, even though it's not that far away, He's not always with me. Me and our son has stayed with him over the summer but now that school is fixing to start again I won't get to stay as much. I'll get to stay with him when I want thanks to his mom, who has been a great mother-in-law to me and a terrific maw-maw to Caleb :)
'FAMILY'
My family has moved to Mississippi....My mom, sister, 2 nieces and 1 nephew. I am having such a hard time dealing with this cause I can't see them as much as I want to with Micah working so much, (No I don't blame him).
I don't have a big family but Micahs family makes up for what I don't have. I seem to be thinking alot about the things that mean the most to me....My mom being one of them. I miss our talks, drinking coffee together, always being around her, us praying for things that happened we couldn't control.
I look in the mirror and see her eyes looking back at me, me seeing her and thinking to myself even though I can't always talk or see her in person, I can look at myself and see her in me..Always with me!!!!
The love that a Mother and Daughter share is a bond that can't be broken...
My mother means so much to me. I have come to learn over the yrs how strong she really is, dealing with personal things, and just a few months ago having heart surgery.
When it came time for her to have the surgery done, the family didn't know how to deal with it, especially me and my sister. She's all we have, no father growing up just her!
My mom went to the E.R cause she was having pains in her chest and was sick, the Dr. checked her in and told her and the family that what they found she will have to have open heart surgery in order for her to get better, yes she did smoke and that's what caused for the surgery.
Well it came time for it to be done...I stayed the night with her and the morning came, the nerse came in prepped her some. I cried the whole time. I was there by myself and I felt as if my whole world was crumbling around me as I watched them wheel her out and into the operation waiting room.
I called my sister Amy and told her they took her back to be completely prepped and her and the rest of the family needed to hurry if they wanted to she her before surgery.
She and my youngest brother Jason finally made it in, we went back, I prayed with her, she looks at me and tells me, "Bec it's gonna be ok, my God has me"!! I told her I knew that but my heart had a brief disbelieve, I let fear in for a moment....
I walked out and fell to pieces in the waiting room. As I sat there I prayed for God to forgive me for not having the faith in Him like my mom did, I sat there with my hands over my face, feeling relieved and knew He forgave me.
I prayed and cried the whole time, which was hours!! The Dr. finally came out and told us it went great but she's in ICU and had to wait to see her.
Me and my sister went back to see her and we both grabbed one another and cried, tubes and IV's everywhere...I just knew I was gonna faint!!!
We all took it day by day, praying for her recovery, and just trying to be calm...Well calm is NOT how it went!
Family drama happened, more days went by now she's doing so much better, more days went by and finally she can go home! Up to date she's doing wonderful, stopped smoking and taking great care of herself and I couldn't be more proud of her than what I am now :))
I miss my sister alot...we've always been so close to each other, having our battles with one another but always being there when one needed the other!!! My nieces Tori and Jenna-bugg and my nephew Gavin are more than nieces and a nephew, they are like my own children...Helping raise them has been such a blessing to me.
They're growing up so fast with every blink on an eye, I wish I seen them everyday and didn't miss out on the things they're doing!!!
'GOD'
My relationship with God started at young age. Alot of my childhood I don't remember, family telling me things like when I burnt my hand in a fire, and not wanting anyone touch it. I sat on our couch rocking and praying, having so much faith that my Jesus was gonna heal me. I fell asleep and woke up to find my hand was completely healed...HAVING THAT CHILDLIKE FAITH!!!!
The older I got the more I found it hard to trust God, things happen and couldn't understand why God would allow for it to take place.
It took sometime for me to know why He allowed those things to happen...To teach, show and guide me to the place where only I could see the answers...TO HIM!! I've had to push this old flesh aside, pushing on and up-ward looking to what God has in-store for me next, trust that He has me in His hands not letting me go...( "I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.") I've had so many things happen and God be there with me to get through it all!! I've became stronger, seen things differently than what I would have in the past and been blessed with so many people and things in my life, I cherish each and everyone.
I know without God and having a personal relationship with Him I wouldn't make it in this life...He is my Redeemer, My Savior, My Healer, My Rock, My Provider, My Father, My Peace!!!
All my strength comes from God and God alone:)
Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint!"
'MY SON IS GROWING UP'
My son Caleb turned 10 July 1 and I thought..."And so it begins"!! I found myself upset over him growing up, not wanting my little boy to turn into a young man.
He is the only child Micah and I have, and it's been wonderful and hard watching him grow into a terrific young man.
A parent never wants their children to grow up, become independent and start a life of their own..I look back and see that the yrs have flown by and then I see the future just ahead, not that far away.
I know when we decide to have anymore children, I'll be the same with them but with Caleb being our only one at the moment it's hard learning to let go of certain things and let him grow, learn and decide for himself. Even though he turned a yr older, he's also turned into a young man that I am very proud of. A boy who loves God and isn't afraid of telling people about God and how God loves us.
I pray everyday that God guides him, helping him make the right choices, and to prosper in this life!
As he starts the 5th grade, I know this yr is gonna be different for him. Teachers getting students ready for middle school...Lord I don't wanna think about that now.
I know he'll do his best with all thats to come this yr...He's a very bright, loving, caring, talented kid that will make the best out of everything thats placed in front of him.
So as I watch this all taking place, I across my fingers and laugh trying not to cry, that my son is....
My little boy now, but before my eyes a man he'll be!!!!!!
I've been thinking alot lately about my life and my family, wondering about things I could have changed. Alot has went on over the past year...Micah getting a great job, my family moving to Mississippi, my relationship with God and our son turning 10 going into the 5th grade....All these things have had a big impact on my life, having to adjust to changing!!!
(Romans 8:28...We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose)
Me and Micah has come a long way over the yrs, can't believe we've been together 10 yrs come Sept 12. Our love grows more with each passing day!
He is my soul mate in every way, the love we share is something that seems only in fairy-tales, But this fairy-tale has its ups and downs more than one should ;) Aside of our love for each other, we have a precious love for our son Caleb. He's been a blessing not only to us but to mine and Micahs family as well.
Watching him grow through the 10 yrs has been quit a ride, wanting him to grow up then again not to!
We've struggled over the yrs trying to get married and start a new life of our own, but when it seemed that we just maybe touched the top sure enough life grabbed us back down and said, "Your just gonna have to wait"!!
I know people look at us and talk, we're not stupid, but the way I've looked at it is God sees and knows the struggles we've had, having to do things on our own, He knows I've prayed, so I've completely left it in God's hands and I know He's gonna make a way!! I'm only getting married once, and it will be the way we want it, 'BEAUTIFUL'...We've had 10 wonderful yrs and we will have 10 more yrs to come:)
Finally a breakthrough.....
Micah started this new job in Oct of 2010 which was a very big blessing, really couldn't ask for better. We've bought 2 new cars and sticking back to finally get married. But he's having to stay away from home, even though it's not that far away, He's not always with me. Me and our son has stayed with him over the summer but now that school is fixing to start again I won't get to stay as much. I'll get to stay with him when I want thanks to his mom, who has been a great mother-in-law to me and a terrific maw-maw to Caleb :)
'FAMILY'
My family has moved to Mississippi....My mom, sister, 2 nieces and 1 nephew. I am having such a hard time dealing with this cause I can't see them as much as I want to with Micah working so much, (No I don't blame him).
I don't have a big family but Micahs family makes up for what I don't have. I seem to be thinking alot about the things that mean the most to me....My mom being one of them. I miss our talks, drinking coffee together, always being around her, us praying for things that happened we couldn't control.
I look in the mirror and see her eyes looking back at me, me seeing her and thinking to myself even though I can't always talk or see her in person, I can look at myself and see her in me..Always with me!!!!
The love that a Mother and Daughter share is a bond that can't be broken...
My mother means so much to me. I have come to learn over the yrs how strong she really is, dealing with personal things, and just a few months ago having heart surgery.
When it came time for her to have the surgery done, the family didn't know how to deal with it, especially me and my sister. She's all we have, no father growing up just her!
My mom went to the E.R cause she was having pains in her chest and was sick, the Dr. checked her in and told her and the family that what they found she will have to have open heart surgery in order for her to get better, yes she did smoke and that's what caused for the surgery.
Well it came time for it to be done...I stayed the night with her and the morning came, the nerse came in prepped her some. I cried the whole time. I was there by myself and I felt as if my whole world was crumbling around me as I watched them wheel her out and into the operation waiting room.
I called my sister Amy and told her they took her back to be completely prepped and her and the rest of the family needed to hurry if they wanted to she her before surgery.
She and my youngest brother Jason finally made it in, we went back, I prayed with her, she looks at me and tells me, "Bec it's gonna be ok, my God has me"!! I told her I knew that but my heart had a brief disbelieve, I let fear in for a moment....
I walked out and fell to pieces in the waiting room. As I sat there I prayed for God to forgive me for not having the faith in Him like my mom did, I sat there with my hands over my face, feeling relieved and knew He forgave me.
I prayed and cried the whole time, which was hours!! The Dr. finally came out and told us it went great but she's in ICU and had to wait to see her.
Me and my sister went back to see her and we both grabbed one another and cried, tubes and IV's everywhere...I just knew I was gonna faint!!!
We all took it day by day, praying for her recovery, and just trying to be calm...Well calm is NOT how it went!
Family drama happened, more days went by now she's doing so much better, more days went by and finally she can go home! Up to date she's doing wonderful, stopped smoking and taking great care of herself and I couldn't be more proud of her than what I am now :))
I miss my sister alot...we've always been so close to each other, having our battles with one another but always being there when one needed the other!!! My nieces Tori and Jenna-bugg and my nephew Gavin are more than nieces and a nephew, they are like my own children...Helping raise them has been such a blessing to me.
They're growing up so fast with every blink on an eye, I wish I seen them everyday and didn't miss out on the things they're doing!!!
'GOD'
My relationship with God started at young age. Alot of my childhood I don't remember, family telling me things like when I burnt my hand in a fire, and not wanting anyone touch it. I sat on our couch rocking and praying, having so much faith that my Jesus was gonna heal me. I fell asleep and woke up to find my hand was completely healed...HAVING THAT CHILDLIKE FAITH!!!!
The older I got the more I found it hard to trust God, things happen and couldn't understand why God would allow for it to take place.
It took sometime for me to know why He allowed those things to happen...To teach, show and guide me to the place where only I could see the answers...TO HIM!! I've had to push this old flesh aside, pushing on and up-ward looking to what God has in-store for me next, trust that He has me in His hands not letting me go...( "I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.") I've had so many things happen and God be there with me to get through it all!! I've became stronger, seen things differently than what I would have in the past and been blessed with so many people and things in my life, I cherish each and everyone.
I know without God and having a personal relationship with Him I wouldn't make it in this life...He is my Redeemer, My Savior, My Healer, My Rock, My Provider, My Father, My Peace!!!
All my strength comes from God and God alone:)
Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint!"
'MY SON IS GROWING UP'
My son Caleb turned 10 July 1 and I thought..."And so it begins"!! I found myself upset over him growing up, not wanting my little boy to turn into a young man.
He is the only child Micah and I have, and it's been wonderful and hard watching him grow into a terrific young man.
A parent never wants their children to grow up, become independent and start a life of their own..I look back and see that the yrs have flown by and then I see the future just ahead, not that far away.
I know when we decide to have anymore children, I'll be the same with them but with Caleb being our only one at the moment it's hard learning to let go of certain things and let him grow, learn and decide for himself. Even though he turned a yr older, he's also turned into a young man that I am very proud of. A boy who loves God and isn't afraid of telling people about God and how God loves us.
I pray everyday that God guides him, helping him make the right choices, and to prosper in this life!
As he starts the 5th grade, I know this yr is gonna be different for him. Teachers getting students ready for middle school...Lord I don't wanna think about that now.
I know he'll do his best with all thats to come this yr...He's a very bright, loving, caring, talented kid that will make the best out of everything thats placed in front of him.
So as I watch this all taking place, I across my fingers and laugh trying not to cry, that my son is....
My little boy now, but before my eyes a man he'll be!!!!!!
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